The Countdown Begins!

The official countdown has begun. I will be submitting my file for the first stage of the tenure and promotion process the end of this summer! At the moment I’m not stressing about the process since I’ve been extremely busy lately with projects and 2 (not one!) research projects that I would like to pursue this summer. Am I nuts! I don’t plan to take any vacation days this summer. Colleagues are wondering where all this energy comes from. The simple answer is that it comes from motherhood! That year I was off on maternity leave left me, how can I say this in a politically correct way?, starving for intellectual stimulation. No one tells you that you might be bored out of your wits while staying home with a newborn. I guess women are worried that if they express their mixed emotions about being a mother that somehow reflects poorly on their own role as mothers. I acknowledged that I couldn’t wait to get back to work and have conversations with people who could actually converse with me. I got over the guilt and was pleasantly surprised at how much energy I had once I returned to work. So far that energy is still alive and propelling me toward accomplishing my goals. I hope it lasts the summer, because I have A LOT to do!

The Countdown Begins!

The official countdown has begun. I will be submitting my file for the first stage of the tenure and promotion process the end of this summer! At the moment I’m not stressing about the process since I’ve been extremely busy lately with projects and 2 (not one!) research projects that I would like to pursue this summer. Am I nuts! I don’t plan to take any vacation days this summer. Colleagues are wondering where all this energy comes from. The simple answer is that it comes from motherhood! That year I was off on maternity leave left me, how can I say this in a politically correct way?,  starving for intellectual stimulation. No one tells you that you might be bored out of your wits while staying home with a newborn. I guess women are worried that if they express their mixed emotions about being a mother that somehow reflects poorly on their own role as mothers. I acknowledged that I couldn’t wait to get back to work and have conversations with people who could actually converse with me. I got over the guilt and was pleasantly surprised at how much energy I had once I returned to work. So far that energy is still alive and propelling me toward accomplishing my goals. I hope it lasts the summer, because I have A LOT to do!

But they don’t understand…

I’m a pretty calm and rational person (with the exception of deciding to have a child at this point in my career, but that is another story on its own!) However, since my little one is almost two years old it seems more and more people in my life (in-laws, family, friends and even daycare workers) are urging me to have another baby. Their reasoning:

The little one will be spoiled by being an only child…
The poor little one will not have anyone to play with… (hello! it is called daycare and play dates!!)
Two is easier to handle than one because they will keep each other company (hello??! twice as many chances to get sick!)

I’ve tried explaining that I need to achieve tenure before I would even consider the idea, but to no avail. What is wrong with that? I can certainly understand why female academic librarians as well as female faculty members decide to wait until achieving tenure before having children. It is extremely difficult! Case in point: I’ve decided that I would like to be more involved in my local library association, but I have to coordinate the timing with daycare and my husband’s schedule. I’ve decided to revisit this idea next year. It is just too complicated. I just don’t have the time freedom, which is vital to pursue scholarly activities and professional development, outside of the 9-5 pm realm. I hesitate to make such a commitment if there is a chance that I can not deliver. Will this affect my bid for tenure? Most likely, but I will have to adjust and find other ways to contribute to the profession….

How I survived the first term as a mom…

Students are writing their exams and the library is quiet. No classes to teach, but plenty of projects and collection work to do. As the semester winds down, I finally have time to reflect on my first term both as a new mother and a tenure-track librarian. Needless to say, it has been very difficult and trying. Here’s what I learned.

 1. It is vital to have back-up child care arrangements

The daycare that my Little One (LO) attends only caters to the typical 9-5 pm working mom. They close at 6 pm and charge $15 for every minute thereafter, but that’s problematic for a librarian who is expected to work the occasional evening at the reference desk or teach an evening library class. I’ve experienced the daycare dilemma: should I keep the LO in non-profit daycare with qualified ECE workers (and on campus) and arrange for evening care with someone else; opt for a private home care agency that can accommodate my schedule (but a distance away from my workplace) or have my LO stay with a babysitter that can be flexible with my schedule. The last option makes me cringe with the thought of the babysitter watching soaps all day while my LO eats glue. As of now, we’ve decided to stay with the daycare centre and find someone who will be a back up (evening care) baby sitter. Next term there won’t be any surprises.

 2. Not everyone in your workplace appreciates your choice to be a mother

Even though everyone in the library chipped in to buy you a gift for your baby when you were 8 months pregnant, it doesn’t mean that they are thrilled to fill in for you when you have to take another “sick day” because the LO is projectile vomiting. Your reality is not their reality (at least those who have never had kids or are “childless by choice”). Although I can’t quite see how my LO is equivalent to my colleague’s dog or cat, I try to remember life before the LO and try to understand my childless colleagues’ point of view. That is why I try to avoid any preferential treatment because of my situation. It is great to have a supervisor who is a parent and understands the situation. Just knowing that I can leave early or come in later makes my worklife less frustrating. In the end you can’t help but feel that not everyone is supportive of your “choice” and though in theory you can’t be discriminated against because of your parental status you still need to be sensitive to your colleagues.

3. You can’t do everything. You’ll have to give some things up!

I have several colleagues at work that don’t have cable or satellite! I couldn’t imagine how one could get along without television. Well now I know! After I tuck my LO off to bed at night, it is off to the computer to catch up on some work. Once upon a time I would stay at work late to finish off work, but then came the LO and I have to leave work at 5 pm; 5:30 pm the latest. How to compensate for this? Cut out televison and cut out exercising (how difficult this was to do!!). I try to get a couple of hours of work done before I retire for the night. You would be greatly surprised how much time I wasted on television during my pre-LO days. I could have written a book if I had abandoned this wasteful past-time! What a shame! (Mind you, I still have a couple of shows I can’t live without). I’m more productive than ever without television! 

4. Connecting with other moms is essential!

I know of a few other tenure-track librarians who are mothers. It is comforting to know that I’m not the only one experiencing the challenges associated with being a mother on the tenure track. The support I’ve received from other mothers has been priceless.

I’m not quite sure how I managed to survive the first year back to work, but I think that I’m more confident about next year. I’m taking some time to spend with my LO (since I barely get to see the wee one!). Now I have to plan for 2008…

Multi-tasking

Today hubby took the little one (LO) out while I had a few hours to myself. What did I do with my free time? In 1.5 hrs I did the little one’s laundry, vaccuumed my car, disinfected LO’s toys, cooked dinner (shake n bake), washed my car, watered the lawn, prepared breakfast, brushed my teeth and had breakfast/lunch. All in that order!

Before the LO I was a great multi-tasker. I worked 2 jobs while attending library school effortlessly and it was a thrill to be that busy. However I multi-task now out of necessity not for the adrenaline rush! It is difficult juggling work and my responsibilities as a mother. I never thought it would be this difficult! I don’t know how a lot of women do this on their own. However, I am learning to plan ahead, try new things and see how it goes. For example, I now cook once a week (Sunday) and this is enough for my weekly lunch as well as dinner for me and LO. But just when I’m comfortable with a new routine something changes and I need to adapt again. I can sincerely list multi-tasking, adaptable and open to change as soft skills on my resume!

Hello world!

Welcome to Tenure + Librarian + Mom. A Interminable Rumor is actually an anagram of tenure librarian mom. I just love anagrams! I went to the Internet Anagram Server (http://wordsmith.org/anagram/index.html) and found some interesting anagrams for tenure librarian mom. I loved A Interminable Rumor, but other favorites included:

• A Biennial Terror Mum  (as in, the terrible twos a mom going through the tenure process!)
• A Liberator Inner Mum
• Brain Email More Runt
• Brain Memorial Tuner
• Brain Email Net Rumor
• Tenure Brain Immoral
• A Brainer Let Mom Run
• Tenure Mania Brr Limo    (as in the whole crazy tenure process leaves me cold, get me my limo stat!!)

This blog will chronicle my experiences, ups (hopefully lots) and downs (hopefully few), during the tenure/continuing appointment process while juggling the demands of motherhood.